


The Words We’ve Never Spoken

by sunflowercon



Category: Love Simon (2018), Simon vs. the Homo Sapiens Agenda - Becky Albertalli
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-21
Updated: 2018-09-21
Packaged: 2019-07-15 05:08:56
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,305
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16056182
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sunflowercon/pseuds/sunflowercon
Summary: Three little words they’ve never actually said out loud, and other things they’ve been too afraid to say until now.





	The Words We’ve Never Spoken

**Author's Note:**

> I actually really love how this turned out, and I really hope you guys enjoy it as much as I enjoyed writing it.

“Hey, Simon, can I ask you a question?”

Simon looks up from where he had been typing on his laptop and sets it aside. He’s been sitting on his bedroom floor for what’s seemed like forever but has probably only been about half an hour, typing up an English paper for Mr. Wise’s class. Bram, who had arrived just an hour before, is sitting in front of him, his notebook – which he had been using to plan out his essay – no longer on his lap.

“Of course,” Simon says as he scoots closer towards Bram, his eyes growing worried. Bram fidgets with his hands, not quite being able to look Simon in the eye. Simon can sense that something isn’t quite right. Bram looks worried, almost afraid.

“Remember when you wrote that post?”

“You mean the one I wrote two weeks ago?” Simon asks, referring to the post he had posted on Creeksecrets, in which he had revealed his sexuality and suggested Bram meet him at the carnival after his Cabaret play.

Bram nods, swallowing hard. “Yeah, that one.” 

“What about it?” Simon reaches for Bram’s hands, which are slightly shaking in his hold. “Are you okay?” he asks, his voice growing softer. “You don’t seem okay.”

“I just...” Bram pauses and lets out a breath. “Do you remember what you said in it?”

“About me being gay?”

“No, not that... I thought this would be easier.”

“Just tell me.” Simon smiles, squeezing Bram’s hands in his own. “It’s okay.”

Bram blushes under his gaze and ducks his head, unable to look Simon in the eye. “You said you... you said you loved me.”

_Oh_. 

Simon feels his heart sink at Bram’s words, at the uncertainty and fear in Bram’s eyes. They haven’t actually talked about this. They haven’t actually said _I love you_  to each other in person. Simon had known he was in love with Blue before he even knew who Blue was – before he even knew Blue _was_ Bram. Once he had found out who Blue was, his feelings had only intensified, because he could finally put a face to the name of the anonymous classmate he had been confiding in for months. And knowing that Blue was Bram had made it even more special.

But now that he thinks about it, he’s not even sure Bram loves him back. He had signed his emails with “Love, Blue” for a while, but then again, that didn’t mean anything. What if he didn’t love him? What if he had rushed things and said something he wasn’t supposed to?

“Do you actually?” Bram’s voice is quiet, just above a whisper. He glances up at Simon, noting the fearful expression on his face. “A-actually, never mind. Forget I mentioned it. We can just—“

“No!”

“Oh.” Bram’s shoulders slump forwards, a frown taking over his face. He looks crushed.

Simon mentally slaps himself. “No, as in I don’t wanna forget it,” he says. “But, yes. I... I do.” He breathes in deeply and then exhales, trying to calm himself down. “I do love you,” he says so quietly that Bram almost misses it.

“Y-you do?”

“I do,” Simon says with a bit more confidence. He can feel his cheeks heating up at the confession. “I loved you before I even knew who you were, Bram.” He looks at Bram directly in the eye and smiles. “I love you.”

“Still?” 

“Of course.” Simon’s heart aches at the question, because he can tell that Bram’s been insecure all this time. When they had met at the ferris wheel at the carnival, one of the first things Bram had said was, _Are_   _you_ _disappointed_ _that_ _it’s_ _me?_ As if Simon could ever be disappointed, as if he was scared that Simon might have preferred somebody else. Truth was, that even when Simon thought Blue might have been somebody else, he still ached for it to be Bram. He ached for things to turn around in his favor and for Bram to be Blue, even though he thought it was unlikely.

“I love you,” Simon says as he reaches forward, cupping Bram’s face in his hands.

Bram grins, his hands moving up to rest against Simon’s. “I love you too,” he says softly, his eyes drifting shut as Simon leans forward to press his lips against Bram’s.

When they pull away, they smile at each other, and Simon’s arms move to wrap around Bram’s neck, pulling him into a warm hug. And when Simon hugs him, it’s as if the world around them has disappeared, as if nothing could ever hurt him, because it’s in Simon’s arms where he finds peace, where he feels safe.

“Wanna take a break?” Simon asks as he distances himself from the hug. At Bram’s nod, he rises to his feet, grabs Bram’s hand, and pulls him along with him. The two end up cuddling on Simon’s bed, Bram laying on the corner of the bed with Simon laying beside him, his head resting against Bram’s chest.

“Can I tell you something?” Simon asks as he lifts his head to look up at Bram. Noting the nervous look on his face, he leans up and presses a kiss to Bram’s cheek.

“O-okay.”

“When we met at the carnival,” Simon starts, “you asked me if I was disappointed it was you. And I know I already told you I wasn’t, but... I need you to know that I was always hoping it was you. I wanted it to be you so badly, but after the Halloween party, I guess I didn’t think it would be.”

“Why me?” Bram asks, struggling to get the words out. “You could’ve wanted it to be anyone, but... you wanted it to be me?”

“Yes,” Simon states. “I guess part of the reason was because I knew you. Like, I didn’t _know_ , know you, but I already sort of knew who you were. I already considered you my friend, even if we only hung out during lunch. And I just... I felt like we had this connection, especially during the Halloween party. It just felt natural, being with you, as if it was meant to be.”

“That’s how I felt with you,” Bram answers after registering what it was that Simon had said. “I felt like we belonged together. Like it was meant to be, but...”

“But?” Simon asks, feeling his heart sink. He looks back up at Bram, who appears to be lost in thought.

“But I was just so confused by everything. I liked you, Si. I liked you before we even started emailing each other, and I guess because I liked you, when you emailed me... I wanted it to be you, too... Then the whole thing during Halloween happened, including the thing where I royally screwed up.”

“You didn’t royally screw up,” Simon says as he moves so that his elbow’s resting against his mattress, his head being supported by the palm of his hand as he looks down at Bram. “I know the feeling of wanting things to be different, of wishing _you_ could be different just so you wouldn’t have to deal with the whole coming out ordeal.”

“I just felt so bad, especially when I found out you were actually Jacques. I felt like an idiot.”

“Well, you’re not,” Simon promises as he runs his fingers through Bram’s hair. “And we’re here now, so all of that doesn’t matter anymore. I love you, just as you are.“ 

Bram’s eyes light up and a smile spreads across his face as he reaches up to cup Simon’s face, his thumb running gently across his skin. “I love you,” he says quietly. “You’re the best.”

“I try.” Simon laughs as he plops back down on the bed, his head moving to rest against Bram’s chest once again.

**Author's Note:**

> I would love to know what you guys thought of this. Is it good? Bad? Anything I can improve on?
> 
> And thanks for reading, I hope you enjoyed. :)


End file.
